I’m Not Ready…Yet

Good post in the Huff Post about not being ready to publish. I know I need to work on a few of these but definitely not #3 as I have no desire to become famous-rich, maybe, but not famous.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/penny-c-sansevieri/7-signs-that-youre-not-re_b_1855988.html

How many steps do you have to work on? I know I need to research the market a LOT more.

Seeking: First Readers-Must Love Words

When you are in the process of writing a book, you always hear that getting trusted people to read your draft is one of the first steps to success. Even Stephen King talks of their importance in his autobiography/writing bible, On Writing. When you’re done with your first round of revisions you just hand over your story to your closest friends and your family, right? No way. Let’s face it, your friends and family probably like you. They probably like you a whole lot. Perhaps they even love you (perhaps), and this affection for you may cloud their judgment. So when they read your 100,000 word steampunk-vampire-historical-fiction written completely in haikus, they may actually tell you it’s great. It’s not. So who then do you trust to give you the critique that you need?

You could pay to have a professional proofread and critique your work. One agent/critique-r (critiquee?) I found will read your work for 4 cents a word. Pennies!?! I have those! Wait, my story has 60,000 words…*counts fingers*…okay, I can’t afford that.

Where do you get your first readers? I Googled it and there are no first reader “dating” sites. I imagine a first reader social media site where you can meet with other writers who want to exchange manuscripts for critiques (or long walks on the beach-whatever you prefer). You should be able to search for people by location as well as genre. This way, you can establish a group of regulars who can read your work and develop a rapport with. Until that happens, I guess you should stick with those you know and hope that your family and friends don’t like you enough to tell you the truth.

How did you get first readers? Have you used any of the writing social media sites and how did you like them?

Slack Tide-The Beginning of Dreams

Here’s the beginning of another story inspired by a dream I had. This particular dream came to me in three parts, one of which is featured in this first chapter. It is a step outside of my paranormal comfort zone and I hope you enjoy. Feedback is appreciated!

*Updated 3/13/13 with new revisions*

Slack Tide

CH 1.

I was undecided whether or not I was going to go to the party tonight. I wasn’t exactly the party-type of girl but Jen was really excited about going. She said there were going to be a ton of seniors there and that, as juniors, we were practically obligated to make an appearance. We wouldn’t want them to think we were super lame, would we? I couldn’t care less what they thought but I decided to go to keep an eye on her. Trouble had a way of finding Jen, or maybe it was Jen who always found trouble.

The party was on somebody’s houseboat on the far side of the marina. I lived in the center of the marina above the supply store. My parents rented a small apartment there although my dad was gone most of the year fishing. It was usually just me and mom and the occasional stranger that mom brought home to party with.

That could explain my aversion to partying.

It was a foggy night, pretty typical for living right off the water. Jen and I walked together down the gravel roads past the other houseboats. Jen lived in town in a regular house so she always thought it was so cool and exotic that people lived on boats in the bay. I told her it was usually just people who were too busy or lazy to take care of a house and a yard that lived there, nothing exotic about it. She wouldn’t hear it. Houseboat living was some foreign luxury she was desperate to be a part of. This party was right up her alley.

As we got closer, we heard the music before we saw the house. The fog was so thick that we were practically at the front door before we saw it. Jen went through the door first, bursting through like the life of the party she wished she was. I followed quietly behind trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn’t hard since most of the people I saw were seniors who couldn’t be bothered with a junior girl like me. When I got to the kitchen, I already saw Jen downing a shot of some unknown liquid. It was going to be a long night. I grabbed a cup and filled it with some water from the sink. I don’t drink. My mom does enough of that for the both of us.

I followed Jen as she went room to room. She finally settled in the dining room where she cheered on a rowdy game of beer pong. I took my cup of water and sat in a chair in the living room where I had full view of Jen and the game. I hardly noticed there was anyone around me until I heard a voice ask, “I guess you’re not as interested in beer pong as your friend is, huh?” I looked next to me and was surprised to see Scott Farris, a senior and son of one of the most famous (or infamous-depending on who you asked) fishermen in town. His dad was like a rock star amongst fishermen, if there was such a thing. I’d never talked to Scott in my life and hardly saw him but everyone knew who he was.

“How do you know she’s my friend?” I asked, trying slightly to distance myself from her embarrassing antics.

“I saw you come in together and I saw you follow her through the house like you were babysitting her. She seems like she’s the type of girl who could use it, actually.” He nodded in her direction. I looked towards her to see her falling all over some senior guy who wasn’t even paying attention to her and happily taking another anonymous shot someone was passing around.

I groaned.

Scott laughed at me, or rather at my situation. I was momentarily stunned at how his face lit up when he laughed and how bright his blue eyes became. His laugh stirred something inside of me, something so deep within my being. It made me feel good and I hadn’t really felt good in a long time. I knew I had to hear it again.

I became acutely aware of my heart thumping in my chest. I had to say something to make him laugh again.

“You think I should just grab her by her hair and drag her home and save everyone the trouble of dealing with her later?” It worked. My heart thumped louder at the sound.

“I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions, don’t you? She can do what she wants just as long as she doesn’t drag you down with her.” He looked straight into my eyes like no one had ever done before. It felt as though my heart was floating and I tried to nonchalantly press my left fist against my chest just to keep it in check. He searched my eyes so intensely that I had to briefly look away to regain some composure. Did Scott Farris really just say he was concerned for my welfare? I don’t even know this guy, why would he care about me?

Thump. Thump.

“Well then, I guess I should just drag her home now because I’ve seen this act before,” I said nodding in her direction, “it doesn’t end well.”

“I don’t want you to have to leave so early because of her, you and I’ll make sure she gets home safe later, don’t worry.” He said it so sincerely and profoundly. I probably would have believed anything he said at that moment but, in my gut, I knew he was telling the truth. Dad always said to trust your first instincts about a person and there was something very safe about Scott. I felt protected.

“I’m Scott.” He put his hand out to shake mine.

“I’m Ellie.”

“Ellie, that’s an unusual name. I like it.” He smiled. My heart thumped.

“Well, technically it’s Eleanor, after my grandma, but I kind of hate it. In fact, I’m almost embarrassed to admit that to you. I’ve always gone by Ellie.”

“Well, I like them both but Ellie it is.” His blue eyes sparkled and I was pretty sure my insides melted a bit.

We spent much of the night talking, when I wasn’t chasing after Jen making her chug some water, that is.  Fortunately for me, Jen set her sights on some guy who decided it would be nice to make out with such a willing girl. This slowed her alcohol consumption enough to sober her up a bit and kept her occupied so I could focus on talking to Scott.

For someone whose father was known for dangling a couple of his deckhands over the side of his boat during a fight, Scott was surprisingly mellow and sweet. I listened as he talked and joked with his friends, trying not to say anything stupid when he asked my opinion. Even when he was seemingly focused on his friends he was also, apparently, aware of me. Once, while in a deep conversation with a buddy about some tv show I never saw, I caught a chill and rubbed my arms to warm up. I had no idea he saw me or noticed but the next thing I knew, he was removing his zipped-up hoodie. He carefully held the arms out for me to put it on all while barely missing a beat in his conversation. He smiled as I finished putting it on and I had never felt so taken care of in my life.

In my sixteen years, I had barely had anyone even ask how I was, let alone worry about my well being or care if I felt chilly. I pretty much took care of myself and I could tell that Scott was used to taking care of people too. I realized that his dad was probably gone a lot just like mine so he was probably used to doing things for himself, like me. It was a quality that really drew me into him and I hoped that he felt something for me too.

It was getting really late and I knew it was about time to go. I didn’t want to leave. I never wanted to leave Scott’s side ever, but I was exhausted and I knew I’d have to deal with my mom in the morning. Scott must have noticed me scanning the crowd for Jen because he asked, “Leaving me so soon?” I have to admit, my heart swooned when he said it.

“Yeah, sorry, I gotta go and I have to get Jen home before she’s a total mess.”

He stood up. “Alright, let’s go.” I looked at him strangely, not knowing what he meant.

“I said I’d get you home safe and I meant it. Go find Jen and meet me by the front door.”

I was shocked into semi-incoherentness so I just nodded my head and walked through the dwindling crowd until I found Jen, attached to some other guy’s face. I dragged her away, made her drink the rest of my water and went to meet Scott by the front door.

I saw him talking to another guy who I recognized as his brother, Jake. Jake was in my grade and his reputation was a lot like his father’s-hard partying, quick tempered with an even quicker sense of humor. They seemed to be arguing quietly. I wondered if they were arguing about me as I slowly walked up. Once I was in Scott’s view, his demeanor abruptly changed and a huge smile swept back across his face. Jake turned to see what he was looking at and said, “Hey Ellie,” to me and “Don’t stay out too late”, with an obvious wink to Scott. Scott rolled his eyes, put his hand on my back and led me out the door as Jen stumbled a bit next to me.

The fog seemed even thicker as we walked back down the road. The houseboats were no longer visible, tied up to the docks, and you could hardly see your hand in front of your face. Scott kept his hand firmly on the small of my back which repeatedly sent shivers up my spine-the good kind of shivers. Jen rambled on about the party as if Scott wasn’t even there. She talked about all the “hot seniors” she made out with and the friends she made. I looked at Scott and rolled my eyes. He laughed his laugh which made my heart soar.

We got back to the supply store and I asked Scott to wait downstairs while I brought Jen up and got her settled in. I had to basically push Jen up the stairs to our deck. I stood her next to the door while I slowly opened it trying to stay quiet. I quickly saw there was no need. My mom was passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of something on the table next to her in the dark. The tv was blaring so I shut it off. She stirred but stayed asleep. I brought Jen to the bedroom where she promptly removed her shoes and collapsed sleepily onto the sleeping bag next to my bed. Again, I crept through the living room and back outside.

From the top of the deck, I looked out but didn’t see Scott. My heart sank. Did he leave? Did I imagine it all? I quickly ran down the stairs looking out into the fog and he caught me at the bottom step in his arms.

“Woah, where are you off to in such a hurry?” He asked. I was so relieved and also excited that I was standing there in Scott Farris’ arms.

“Sorry, I thought you left.” I was immediately embarrassed by the revelation and looked down at the ground. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my head until I met his eyes. I felt like his blue eyes could swallow me whole if I let them.

“I told you I’d get you home safe and I’d never leave you without knowing you were safe, okay?” I nodded, feeling like my eyes would tear up at any moment. I blinked heavily.

“Listen, I really like you…” he started. Now it was him looking away in embarrassment. I took the chance to turn his face back towards me. He smiled at the gesture and looked deep into my eyes. He put both hands on my face and slowly came forward to kiss me. It was a gentle kiss but firm in its intent.

My heart thumping was now so out of control that I was sure it would explode.

“I like you too.” I said and he hugged me tight. At the beginning of the night I would have never in a million years guess I would be kissing a boy, let alone Scott Farris. It’s funny how your life can change in an instant and I truly felt like my life had changed right there standing in his arms.

“Ellie, I gotta go.” He said sadly.

“I know.”

“No, I mean I have to go away.” It felt like someone stabbed me in the chest and suddenly the tears reappeared behind my eyes. “I’m going fishing with my dad tomorrow and I won’t be back until next week.”

Tomorrow? Next week? Okay, that didn’t sound so bad. I think I could handle that. “Okay, I understand.” I said to him.

He looked relieved but still sad. “I’ll see you once I get back, okay? Don’t forget about me.”

I laughed. “How could I?”

He kissed me again, stronger this time and slowly let go of me. I watched him disappear back into the fog like some illusion and I was left wondering again if it had all truly happened. I still felt the sweet tingling on my lips and the absence of his arms around me. Although we had only known each other for a few hours, it felt like part of me was being ripped away. I looked down to see that I still had his hoodie on and I wrapped it tighter around me as I made my way back inside.

Who Said Vampires Were Dead??

Okay, well technically they are dead but that’s not what I mean. I mean, who said that vampire stories were dead? I know everyone and their mom has a vampire story these days  but this is not just another typical vamp story, this is a vampire dream. I had it a while back and just got around to typing it up from my notebook of ideas. No sparkly vamps or those who drink synthetic blood here. The reason I wrote this down after my dream was because it actually was a different vampire story. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and I’m not sure how often I will be able to update this bloggy-blog in the near future as I am about ready to pop(baby due date is Feb. 26th). Promise to be back as soon as I can!

  The Vampire Dream:

 It was so long ago but the memories are as clear to me as this moment right now. It was a world much different than the one you know and it is hard to believe we once coexisted at all. Nobody has been able to explain exactly what happened that day-a “mass extinction” was what they called it. I always felt it was something more, but that’s for another day.

I was a young girl back then-straight out of school and ready to take on the world. I got a job at Francine’s Department Store in the city. At the time, Francine’s was the place to shop. I thought I had it made! The building was absolutely gorgeous. It was all done in the modern style of the day, sparkling white marble floors, clean, uncluttered walls, and furniture that looked like it was out of this world. People came inside just to see the décor!

Well, I started in the jewelry department-I know, it’s hard to believe that was where I started but, of course, you have to start somewhere. I was just excited to work and in what seemed like a dream job at the time, being a young girl obsessed with the latest fashions-I felt like I won the lottery!

Now you have to understand that I had grown up in a world where the integration of humans and vampires were as natural as peanut butter and jelly. There was more discrimination against me as a woman than there was against the vampire people. It was the life I always knew and I didn’t really think twice about it. Sure, it crossed my mind that they were capable of drinking blood but everyone knew the treaty was in place and that if they violated it, it would mean certain death for their entire race. When they signed the treaty, took up the war effort and helped us to victory, they all but solidified their equality. After they returned home, they were honored and treated just like every other soldier and nobody questioned their loyalty.

We were all equals, well at least in terms of our places in society. The vampires were far from being our equals physically. My god, were they beautiful. Even the most attractive human celebrities of the day didn’t hold a candle to them. They were so unnaturally gorgeous that you could easily pick them out of a crowd a mile away. Their skin was so flawless it practically glowed- a trait I was most jealous of. They moved so easily and gracefully that it appeared as though they danced as they walked. And though it was not physically obvious, they were ten times stronger than the strongest men…except when they fed, of course.

They say it was one of the main reasons for the treaty; when a vampire drank human blood, they were rendered so helpless that they were incapacitated for several weeks. This led them to be easy prey during the times when humans hunted them down. Once the vampire society realized that they do not need blood to survive, they began to desire full integration into our human lives. For many years it was met by protests and outrage but when the war started, and so many of our young men were being killed, the government reconsidered their acceptance. Nobody argued that having them on our side would be a detriment as long as they agreed to the treaty. They quickly set out overseas, helped us win the war and cemented their place in America.

Afterwards, they were a common sight. Our neighbors upstairs were a lovely vampire family with vampire kids we used to play with. My fifth grade teacher, Ms. Bellamy, was an extremely intelligent vampire and everyone just adored her. They were as normal as everyone else. So, you can see what seems strange to you now was not at all strange back then.

On my first day at Francine’s, I was paired up with Dax. He was a young vampire-well, they all looked young-who lived in the city. He had perfectly styled dirty blond hair that sat with gentle waves atop his head. His eyes were a hypnotizing shade of hazel that I swore changed colors as he talked. He was always impeccably dressed in expensive suits that flattered his athletic frame. I thought he was very cosmopolitan and absorbed everything he taught me about the job, fashion and life. Even the most mundane words coming from his mouth seemed exotic. We were quickly inseparable and though he was undeniably one of the most attractive men I had ever seen, I never thought of him as more than a friend. That could also be due in part to the dark-haired gentleman I met in accounting my very first week.

Quiet and polite, I was struck by his kind face and soft brown eyes. When he smiled, he made you feel so at ease, as though nothing bad could ever happen to you. I nearly forgot why I had gone up to the office in the first place but I rattled off question after question so I didn’t have to leave. Samuel was so patient with me and didn’t even look startled the next day when I came back with another laundry list of questions. I had eyes for no other man-I still don’t.

Do you know that very day was to be our first official date? It took months of flirting to get him to ask me out. He was just so shy and, I think, taken aback by such an outspoken girl as myself. After I had run out of accounting questions, I started quizzing him on his likes and dislikes. Eventually he started coming down to the jewelry department to see me. Despite seeming a bit intimidated by Dax, Samuel always stopped by to say hello and ask questions about jewelry, which I knew he cared nothing about but it was sweet that he asked.

I wasn’t working that day but I told Sam that I would come into the city and meet him when he got off work. We planned to have a quick bite at the diner two blocks away from Francine’s and to catch a movie. I was so keyed up about the date that I came in a little early so I could chat with Dax and borrow some jewelry that he swore would be perfect for me. I remember wearing my cutest outfit, a peach colored sweater with a fitted pencil skirt and being thankful for the long-sleeved sweater because there was still a chill in the spring air.

I excitedly talked with Dax about the upcoming date and what topics I should talk about. He was so happy for me that you would think he was the one going on the date. He went in the back for a moment to get the pieces he wanted me to try on. I recall looking around at all the shoppers who were out buying their new outfits for Easter the next weekend. I looked at their smiling faces, magnified by the happiness I felt inside.

Dax came back out with the jewelry but he seemed different, distant perhaps. I was so focused on my date that I just brushed the change off. There was something strange in his eyes though that made me avoid looking directly at him for fear of dampening my mood. I didn’t want anything getting in the way of my big night out. As he helped me try on the jewelry, it was getting more and more difficult to ignore. It seemed as though his hands lingered a little too long as he slipped a gorgeous cocktail ring on my finger and I still felt his eyes on me. When I peeked through my lashes, he was staring at me with a look of longing, like he desired me.

At first I truly thought that maybe he was just jealous. I mean, after all, we were very close and I considered myself an attractive girl. I didn’t think I would be out of the realm of a vampire’s interest. As a matter of fact, Eliza Baldwin who grew up down the street was dating a vampire at the time and she was no prettier than I was. Still, I tried to ignore it and talk about Sam. I hoped he would just get the message and start acting normal again. I was afraid this might make for some awkward times working together.

As I tried on a beautiful pearl bracelet that looked just stunning with my sweater, I realized he was still holding my hand. I looked up quickly to see him still staring deeply at me. I was so unnerved and caught by his look that I never turned around when I heard the commotion behind me. I recall hearing some shouting and banging but all I could do was look back into those hypnotic eyes and watch as he held my wrist to his mouth. Slowly he kissed it and then the look in his eyes changed from desire to worry. I tried not to panic and before I knew what was happening, he was biting my wrist. I couldn’t struggle, it would have been useless. I just remember that it all seemed so gentle and painless and then I remember nothing else until I woke up on the cold marble floor.

When I came to, it took a few moments for me to get my bearings. I remember wearily standing up, grasping the jewelry counter for support, but I could not figure out what I was doing on the floor behind it, until I looked around. The chaos and carnage that surrounded me was almost too much to take in. All around me were bodies, the shoppers I had seen earlier. Men, women and children-slaughtered. I began to shake and could barely stand. It was then that I noticed that some of the bodies were still moving. I looked closer and saw that they were all vampires, slithering and dragging themselves on the floor, all headed in my direction.

From where I stood behind the jewelry counter, I could see them struggling in my directions-stretching their arms and making moaning noises, desperate to get to me. It dawned on me then that I was the only living human in sight. I looked for an escape route but the only way behind the counter was blocked by another moaning creature. It was Dax.

It all flooded back to me at that moment. I remembered him acting strange and kissing my wrist before gently drinking my blood. He must have brought me on the other side of the counter at some point and now here he was blocking my only way out. But why hadn’t he killed me? It was common knowledge that once a vampire tasted human blood, they would drain their victims completely. I couldn’t believe I was still alive, but, of course, I was there looking at the reason I was still alive.

Dax saved my life. The only reason I was alive was because he somehow fought against his instinct, letting me survive and barricading me behind the counter for my own protection. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it had been for him.

I looked around for another way out. Since the vampires were so incapacitated, I knew it wouldn’t be too hard but I didn’t want to take any chances. I climbed up onto the counter and took one look back at Dax. He met my eyes and his face was filled with such sadness and despair that I had to overcome the urge to rush back and comfort him. I knew he would be killed as that was the terms of the treaty. It broke my heart that it would be the last moment I would see him. We looked into each other’s eyes for what seemed like days and I mouthed “thank you” to him as I slid off the counter.

I had to step over and around a tremendous number of bodies but was so thankful when I found the back stairwell clear. I recall how odd it seemed to be in such stark cleanliness after what I just stepped through. I clutched the brass railing tightly and slowly made my way down the stairs, still woozy from the lack of blood. As my shoes echoed through the stairwell, I made my way to the door. I was afraid to open it, to see what lay beyond but I knew I had to get out of there. I put all my weight into pushing the heavy door and had to shield my eyes from the sun to see.

From the street, I could tell that what happened in our store was not an isolated incident. It seemed as though the whole city was in chaos, as if I had stepped back in time into one of my father’s war stories. Men with guns were running everywhere while the bodies of still writhing vampires were being piled up and burned. I had to turn away. Focused only on the sidewalk beneath my feet, I made my way to the only place I knew where to go at that moment-the diner.

With every wobbly step I took, I prayed I would find him there. I knew the odds were small but I just hoped in my heart that he was still alive and waiting for me. As I turned onto 5th Avenue, I was nearly run over by a hoard of police officers scrambling to return order to the city. Their attempts seemed so futile and I remember wondering just how bad had things gotten-was it just the city, the east coast, the whole country? It was all so hard to fathom in the moment.

As the policemen passed I focused again on the diner. There were people running about and vampires that still churned in the streets but through it all I saw him. At first I didn’t want to believe that it was true, it just seemed so unreal. My heart was nearly bursting at this point. As I got closer I could tell it was him, sitting on the curb with his head in his hands. He hadn’t seen me and I tried the best I could to stumble faster in his direction. He wiped his eyes and lifted his head in my direction.

I’ll never forget that embrace. Neither of us wanted to let go. We smiled through the tears, as we made our way through all the chaos and confusion in the city-never releasing our embrace. A month later, we were officially engaged and I was promoted to head of the jewelry department. We were a couple of the few survivors at Francine’s and we moved up quickly. It only took twenty more years for me to become vice-president of the company.

They never did pinpoint the cause of the disaster, even after years of investigations. Now, the vampires are long gone and only remembered through stories like mine. Still, after all the anger and rage directed at the vampire people, I remember Dax and the others fondly. I owed my life to a vampire and that is something I will never forget.

The End. (or the beginning?)

I saw this article about the 100 Best Closing Lines from Books on the Twittersphere today and I loved it! As someone who used to always read the last page before starting a book (though I’m recently reformed of that habit), I prefer the last lines to the first lines. It’s the last line the you read over again as you breath that satisfactory sigh when you finish a great book. I never go back to the first line. For me, it’s not where the journey begins but where it takes you that counts. That’s what really sticks with you. I can’t choose my favorite but I really like The Great Gatsby’s “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” and Gone With The Wind’s “After all, tomorrow is another day.”-which I think is the most iconic.

http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/the-best-100-closing-lines-from-books#

If you are the opposite and love the way a book can capture you from the first line, then you are in luck. The same folks have a list of the 100 Best Opening Lines From Books.  I guess I would pick A Tale of Two Cities as having the most iconic first line: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” I mean, who doesn’t know that(even if they don’t know what book it comes from)?

http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/the-best-100-opening-lines-from-books#

Now I have read quite a few of these but both lists remind me how much more great reading I have in front of me. It also makes me think, is there too much importance placed on the opening and end lines? I pictures writers staring at the blank computer screen in front of them as a bead of sweat slides down their brow. Their hands shake as they type the first line then instantly delete it in disgust. Nothing will ever be good enough for them.

 I say just write the damn line and move on. If you have a great story, the first or last line will not ruin it-unless they are really really awful, but I would hope that your editor or a good friend would at least let you know about it before you publish. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Some of the best opening lines are just good because they set you up for a great story-that’s what counts.

Enjoy the lists! Let me know what your favorite is or if you think a great line is missing.