Tag Archives: writing and parenting

A Clumsy Balance

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A career path is rarely a path at all. A more interesting life is usual a more crooked, winding path of missteps, luck and vigorous work. It is almost always a clumsy balance between the things you try to make happen and the things that happen to you.

~Tom Freston

My last post focused on being a writer mama and how difficult it is to write while being a full time stay at home mom. I am happy to report, though, that Stephen King did not find my little blog and get offended so that was a good thing.

After receiving a comment from the OG Writer Mama, Christina Katz, I realized that I should explain further where I find the time to write and create. Where do I find my clumsy balance? I’ll give you an example:

On Mondays and Wednesdays, my older daughter, My Chickadee, goes to nursery school. It’s a “Mommy and Me” so my mom takes her and I stay home with my younger daughter, The Big Booper. If everything works out right and the planets align, Booper, will be napping for part of school time. I quickly use that  time to write or read or do whatever I need to in order to catch up on work. Sometimes catching up on work means watching the previous night’s Game of Thrones or Walking Dead but I try to watch those when Booper isn’t sleeping. If I’m lucky, I’ll get 30 minutes of work time. It’s usually less.

Another example is when Booper goes down for her afternoon nap. I try to employ quiet time during the afternoon nap but I’ve gotten lax on that lately. I have quiet baskets/boxes filled with goodies that Chickadee can do by herself. I’ll put on the kids station on Pandora for her, give her the basket in the playroom and I’ll work in the living room. (If you Pinterest “quiet boxes” there is a plethora of stuff there-I think I pinned for days) If we aren’t doing quiet baskets, I will put on a movie or let her play the Kindle. Again, if I’m really lucky, I’ll get 30 minutes but I usually don’t. There’s a lot of, ” Mommy, can you help me? Mommy, I’m hungry. Mommy, can you play with me? Mommy…Mommy…MOOOOMMMYYYY!?!” You get the idea.

When Booper gets up in the afternoon, it’s a mad dash till bed time. We do our afternoon walk with the dog, play in the yard, eat dinner, bath time, clean up after someone poops in the tub, story time and bed routines. By the time they are in bed, I’m beat and don’t get much else in. I spend the time vegging out. But keep in mind that throughout the day if I get an idea I write it down on my phone using the Evernote App. I have a folder filled with story ideas and general writing thoughts. I can’t live without it.

Overall, you can see that my writing time is limited. When The Big Booper was a newborn, I worked out story ideas during night time feeding which was surprisingly productive. I squeeze in moments when I can and that’s the best I can do.

So those are some examples of how I get it done. Where do you find the time? I’d love to hear how you find your clumsy (or maybe not so clumsy) balance!

Writer Mama

Posted in Writing by

I am a “Writer Mama”. I write this sitting on the floor next to my almost 9 month old who is sitting in a pile of toys to keep her distracted. The hum of my other daughter’s monitor buzzes behind me as she just settled into sleep. This is how I write-juggling my creativity with my 24/7 duty. I know I am not alone.

When I was reading Stephen King’s On Writing I was struck by how much time he said he wrote and how you weren’t really a serious writer if you didn’t spend every free moment writing. Well, Stephen, clearly you were not up all night with your crying, teething kids or making the school runs. I don’t really want to call out the king of horror though because I fear I may ending up like Sissy Spacek in Carrie. No thanks! (I’m legit scared. Sorry Mr. King)

This article by Dorit Sasson discusses how this balance takes place in so many lives and how she is able to overcome it. I love her honesty and tips for maintaining our sanity while trying to carve out a writing life.

Personally, I feel guilty when I am writing and my child wants me. I’ve started giving her a “quiet basket” filled with activities and books she could do on her own so I can get a moment to write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Writing at night after they’ve gone to bed almost never happens. I’m tapped out and usually ready for bed myself. I use that time to read articles, catch up on emails and check all the internet nonsense that would be a distraction during the rest of the day.

But here I am, still plugging along. Writing myself notes here and there for when I have time to work. I just had to pause in order to change a diaper. That’s how we get it done. To all my Writer Mamas (and Dads) out there, I salute you and keep it up!

How do you carve out your writing time? Do you have magically cooperative kids? (If so, can we swap? Just kidding, I love my kiddies)

P.S. Another Writer Mama-THE Writer Mama- who has a lot of great advice is Christina Katz. Loved her book: Writer Mama, How To Raise A Writing Career Alongside Your Kids-check it out here.